Ahhh the Good Old Days

Nickel and dimed, or Where do we find these people?

So This didn't happen to me but I've had change thrown on my stage but nothing like this, one of my old managers told me this story, he use to work down at Hustlers in san Diego when it was still Pacer's. So a couple years back this guy comes in the club, there was something weird about him but the there's something weird about most the guys that come in.

So this guy sits down front row at the stage and the girl on stage is just minding her own business when it hits her, yes literal hits her....and sticks! Now every stripper has had her share of mordifying stage/coin molments. But to have the fucking thing stick on your butt.

How did he do it you ask? I was horrifed when I found out.

Step one: be a creepy fuck.


Step two: get a quarter.


Step three: get (I'm cringing as a type this?) vaseline


I know what your thinking, and yes that sick fuck really did!

Step four: drip the quarter in said vaseline and pelt an unspecting stripper in the ass with it.....

I pray every day that won't happen to another girl, not even one I hate. amen.

Going home with nothing but 60 bucks and shame.

Now the there's a certin kind of shame that happens when you leave with 60 bucks, that only another dancer gets.

First I would like to say that it's not the "Crying Game" Shower kinda shame. It's the "Really I'm doing THIS with my life?" Kinda shame, it's the same kinda shame that I had after opening up my first "big girl" pay check for one of my first hair dressing gigs.

I say big girl cuz your suppose to go to school then get a job in the field of study. I did that! I played by the rules and when I opened up my pay check for a 40 hour work week it was something crazy like 460 dallors....Which if I went back to stripping that's easly made in a night (an alright night anyways).

But there's just this feeling of I've been jibbed by life when you work hard and still come up short. When there's noone in the club to make money off of it's just not your night. But what most people don't understand other nights make up for them more offent then not.

But still when it's not your night, and some nights are just really not your night. You go home feeling like shit. Lesser girls might fall into the mind trap of it's cuz I'm not pretty enough, bull. Then how did the fat girl make 400 bucks. You wasted your time with losers and now you have to tip out with 60 bucks.... now that's a real walk of shame. Handing the Dj and bouncer like 6 bucks each. Most will refuse. They understand. But oh! the feeling of pity, when your money is no good. That's the real shame.

When it's 5 buck on pump #6 instead of full 'er up. When it's ordoring off the vaule menu. That's the real shame, uhgggrr, the shame of being a broke stripper.

The odd injuries that dancers acquired Vol. 1!

There are many odd things that happen while stripping. MANY MANY....MANY odd things one of them is all the odd injuries that we dancers seem to collect. From having Pole Burn to a collection of bruses and bumps to have the joints of an 80 year old woman.

Let's start with Pole Burn, it's kinda like smaller version of road rash mostlikly on the inner thigh or arm, you know that really tender areas. they stay there for a week or to.


This is a trick that you do to acquire a real nice set of pole burn.



There's the pole burn, I've seen wayyyyy worse, shit I've had worse.

Knees there's a whole lot of shit that can and will go wrong with your knees. They will brused. You'll get water in it and that has to be drained....and let me tell you about the sexy accessorie that you get with water on the knee.



And I'm just getting started!

Clear heels

Ahh... clear heels. A Fashion staple among thouse whom take off their clothing for money and thouse whom have little to no fashion sence at all. Clear heels, I've had a love/hate relationship with them from the beging of my dancing. I hate the way they look. Tacky, in fact they look beyond tracky. But the other alternative is being THAT girl. You know the one I'm talking about the one with the roots wearing reguar heels and that is always moving from club to club because she's always getting fired cuz she thinks sucking dick comes with the lap dance.

No thanks. I desided that I'd go with plane black at first, if you ever walked around in heels for any amount of time you know it's not the most comffy thing in the world. But for some damn reason clear heels are well, workable. So it is what it is. Some jobs invole ties and sport jackets, or tacky hats and shripe shirt. My job involes tacky heels and bikinis.

Such is life.