Going home with nothing but 60 bucks and shame.

Now the there's a certin kind of shame that happens when you leave with 60 bucks, that only another dancer gets.

First I would like to say that it's not the "Crying Game" Shower kinda shame. It's the "Really I'm doing THIS with my life?" Kinda shame, it's the same kinda shame that I had after opening up my first "big girl" pay check for one of my first hair dressing gigs.

I say big girl cuz your suppose to go to school then get a job in the field of study. I did that! I played by the rules and when I opened up my pay check for a 40 hour work week it was something crazy like 460 dallors....Which if I went back to stripping that's easly made in a night (an alright night anyways).

But there's just this feeling of I've been jibbed by life when you work hard and still come up short. When there's noone in the club to make money off of it's just not your night. But what most people don't understand other nights make up for them more offent then not.

But still when it's not your night, and some nights are just really not your night. You go home feeling like shit. Lesser girls might fall into the mind trap of it's cuz I'm not pretty enough, bull. Then how did the fat girl make 400 bucks. You wasted your time with losers and now you have to tip out with 60 bucks.... now that's a real walk of shame. Handing the Dj and bouncer like 6 bucks each. Most will refuse. They understand. But oh! the feeling of pity, when your money is no good. That's the real shame.

When it's 5 buck on pump #6 instead of full 'er up. When it's ordoring off the vaule menu. That's the real shame, uhgggrr, the shame of being a broke stripper.