Monday, October 27, 2008

Broken hearted boys, you have to go.

If like actracts like then for me to say that I may just appear broken to the out side world. I feel like people are constantly waiting for me to show my "flaws" or my craziness. Okay people news flash! I have pink eye brows to match my hair, I run around in clears heels intoxicated of money and my greatest joy is watching cartoons.

Is that some how not crazy enough for you?

I'd really like it to be because there is no rabbit in my hat, I AM THE FREAKING BUNNY!

I have a hard time letting things go and when I like someone that's it there's no games, there's no question. I just want them and I find myself in the curious situation of someone, you guessed it Lover. Wanting me as well but him not liking himself enough to have me.

What kind of crap is that, uh Goddess?

So in an act of desperate self preservation because him holding back was killing me making me constantly doubt weather or not I could do or be again thing to make it okay. I had to cut him loose. It was like cutting apart of my own psyche away. I cried all this morning just thinking to myself for awhile I did indeed weather we'd like to say it or not, belonged to someone.

But you can't love a wild thing. In the end I would have done something stupid and crazy just to get his attention, making a fool and villian out of myself.

The worse part was when he left with all of his things, he sent me a text that for what is it worth our time together ment alot to him. It's so much easier to hate someone and say "well that guy's a piece of shit I'm better off!" than, that man is a worth while human being and when he's strongh enough to see what kind of power Lover has in this world it's going to be something really extraoridary. But I can't be there for it and no one can.

Another heart breaking thing he told me that he didn't want to be carried be anyone, I have to tip my hat to that, most men aren't men and having pride is a good step in to being one.

So to all the broken hearted boys out there I'm just going to make you realize that you need to standing on your own. And my god when you do I want to be there to see it.


Brent said...

Yeah, it's hard to be with someone who doesn't have their shit together in the most important way - liking themselves. But at least he wasn't an asshole about it in the end. He really took it like a man, like he should've.
-And too bad about the job. Hope it works out somewhere else