Monday, January 19, 2009

happy holidays!'re freezing your ass off!

Okay so I went up to my mother's house for Christmas which okay I like spending time with the fam and all. But when it's too cold to bathe? That's right my mother lives in a house with a water heater the size of a brita water filter and at the base of palomar moutain and it was snowing across the fucking street. Yeah, hi I was fucking purple. It's really hard to get in the christmas spirt when you're purple.

Spending time with my niece and nephew would have being the highlight if they didn't have the worse case of cabin fever I've ever seen. I really couldn't blame them though, I was just as bad but with the house at 65 degrees (which I'm sorry is fucking freezing!) There was no way I was going out side, even if the kids and I weren't sick on top of freezing. The nitequil that my friend Haily had left at my house was worth it's weight in gold seeings how A. I can't sleep at my mothers. that might have to do with the fact that she lives out in the middle of nowhere aka where noone can hear you scream. B. I'm too fucking cold to sleep. C. if you can't breath you can't sleep. YAY! super phun time.

After dropping off the kids the next day we went to an old friend of the family, Carl. It was one of those barzar expirnces where everyone pretends to know you when they haven't seen you since you where five maybe. My hat is tipped to Carl's daughter whom was one of the only people at the party that introduced herself and didn't acted like I should know her. She laughed and said she gets the same thing all the time.

Random person my partents know "Oh you remember ME!"

Me "No I don't recall."

Random "You use to play in the dirt in frount of my house!"

Me "Really? Was I five?"

Random "Yeah you where this tall! You've grown!"

Me "Yeah, It's kinda been like 21 years. How many people to remember from the ages of five and under? I go by Leia now, too many Amandas really doesn't fit, you know? What was your name?"

Random "Oh come on you remember!"

Me "No really I was five. I really only rememeber cartoons."

Random "Well I'm not telling you....."

Me "I'll work on caring...."

Needless to say my mother was pissed. Some people really just need to shot in the face how the fuck was i suppose to rememeber these people? I was fucking five. The only thing I remember is wanting to wear my halloween costume year round. Yes I was one of those kids.
My mother calmed down after about a bottle of wine. Bad idea on my part to bring the wine. My mother has to be one of the worse drunks I know and I know some fucking terriable drunks. So needless to say the drive home was a super phun time! Then once we got home my mother through a princess fit because I didn't want to watch Christmas Vaction for the millionth fucking time because "It's a tadution!"

I didn't want to watch that movie....ever again for the rest of my life but the crazy woman was in charge to the heat, the sadiest. So on with Mr. Chase and compeny and she let me have a fire. However she nagected to mention that the heater can't be on while you have a fire because for some bazzar reason the heater blows the smoke into the house! So after my near brush with death via smoke inhaltion The house got moderatly warm. And I got to thinking if something like the red dawn happened I'd be screwed. I can't be in cold weather I'm the meanest bitch ever! I turn into the devil when I'm cold. Well maybe that'd be a good thing if I was fighting a rebellion......
well anywho! that was my christmas tune in for more adventures in La La Leia Land same bat time same bat channel.