Monday, November 24, 2008

Family fun at a funeral.

So I walked into my house today for the first time in about three days. I know that doesn't seem like a long time but when you have the family that I have I might as well been lost in the jungle for six months. That's what I felt and smelled like. My family always makes fun of me for being a bit of a towny, city folk if you will. Well I just like those crazy city convences like I don't know running non-well hot water and not being looked at and having said to me "Oh, honey you're really not wearing that are you?"

Yes I must be crazy. Well water for those of you that have yet to expirence this lovely adventure an country living, taking a bath in well water with the water heater the size of crock pot is not only freezing it also smells like a dog, so you end up smelling like cold wet puppy. Wooray.

My family's demamics are odd to say the least the frether away on the family tree you are from me the more likely you are to be a rational human being. The closer the more likely you are to have a drug problem, lair, bitch, Dead beet, ect. you get the point. There was a couple of kids of my own generation that didn't even hug me or say hi. I few even shuffled their children away trying to choke back a "Don't look her directly in the eyes!" There was the saving grace of two twice removed cousins that are awesome and an open bar. I was very proud of my self cuz I didn't do the normal get drunk really quick thing that I normally do when I feel uncomfortable, instead it was a steady flow of liquor just enough to keep me good and numb.

So later on in the day it's time to pass around the mic. Only one of his children got up to speak, another one of his friends rambled on bless him about a story that was very near and dear to him about my grandfather, a bit too long, again bless him. Then my brother got up there and I couldn't get over the fact that all he said was "I love my grandfather, he was my John Wayne." And just as I'm getting up to speak, I have the perfect thing to say, a quote to use, a story a very short story, and then My uncle gets up almost racing me to the mic and gives the final farwell. I felt as if any minute they were going to get hook and pull me off the non existent stage. I just sat back down. It was most likely for the best I hate showing emotion in public but isn't the point of these gatherings to share your sorrow together and morn?

On top of all these shinaigins much to my own mortification my mother is running around telling everyone that I might be moving home...... Okay the biggest slight to ones pride is to have to move home. I have many a couch to sleep on before that's even in the picture. And this mad woman whom give birth to me is saying this like it's the best thing ever. I love the fact that she wants me around however we can't be in the same car with out it turning into a catty battle royal. She'll mention that my hair is yet another color and I'll mention that she needs to eat some where other than a chain restaurant, and then down hill from there until she makes me want to walk home.

Oh well I'm just glad to be back where I have a large water heater and a coffee shop. Oh yes and the internets.


Chunks of Reality said...

Yep, we don't pick our families, do we? :) Then again, maybe if we did our life wouldn't be as interesting.