Quote of the Day!

Waiting for something always makes it more exciting.
-Andy Warhol

Hair, Growing up and the death of the party too hard me.

Okay so I did the thing that every hairdresser knows that your not suppose to do, I started to booth rent with little to no clientele. I thought I was going to regret it but I forgot how much fun working a in salon could be, don't get me wrong it can be hell to if you hate the people that you work with but every one at House of Hair not only are the nice but they're not that TOO nice. You know that creepy too nice vibe when you first meet someone and they're too nice to you and it's almost as if you can see the devil behind there eyes. There's none of that.

Yeah they're all kooky in one way or another and everyone gets along.....they're normal crazy, it's nice to have that and not catty cunt crazy. Or maybe I'm just use to dealing with titty bar crazy and druggy crazy that another other than that is a pleasant surprise. ha ha.

Anywho after everything that's gone down in the last few months I'm starting to feel that everything is heading in the right direction. A rare feeling for me I usually feel like I'm reading a road map upside down and in greek. So go team me! I Still get to come and go as I please and I don't have to deal with as much shit. AND I'll always remember working cuz I'll never be drunk at work!

Speaking of work I haven't drank anything since tuesday, talk about a lush's achievement but I've cut back on my drinking by......alot. I wish I had something witty and clever to say about me being a drunk ass however it's just not happening. sorry folks. But as the days roll on that last five pounds that I've been at war with about a year that was becoming a nice gut are melting away. I guess the other girls had it right you can't just drink you have to do other drugs to stay stripper fit. Or any kind of fit what so ever. But then again I'm proud to say that I'm not a lifer of the bar seen being a drunk ass is really only cute for so long and in my case it was very rarely cute so much as kinda funny and sad all at once.

It will be nice walking in to a bar and not feeling like i'm at work, go out and have fun and see the next crop of party too hard girls and smile thinking "Oh that's not going to be so fun in the morning".

Ah, baby steps of growing up, how fun.

the best song in the world

Amelia by Esthero

Enjoy and go see this girl live when ever you get a chance it will be best money you've ever spent.

It's just another day.

So I've been showing up for work around like ...7 ish tonight since I'm going to Lover's art show. I decided that I'm going to try to make it in bye like 8-ish. But that's cutting by money by like 20 bucks or so so I'm really trying hustle, seeings how I have yet to pay my rent........yeeesh!
It really doesn't help that I'm so bad with money. But that's always been the case. I'm the type of girl that if I have a 100 bucks I have money which I know is wrong. That's always been wrong. I can't help if that's how I think. I need to get that cushion, you know the three month one that everyone on the planet SHOULD have been none of my friends actually do but then my friends are most likely the worse sample population on the planet. Odd balls everyone of them, I love it. BUt they have to be some of the worse finical advice givers in the world.

Me: I'm so broke!

My Friends: Well do more dances....

Me:Thanks guys I didn't think of that.

Anywho, I've been trying not to think of how much money I owe cuz then it's just going to freak me out and I'm going to feel cornered. And When I feel like that I get a little like a wild kitty and lash out at people, not really a good plan for making that paper.

Maybe being around art will kick my ass into high art gear.

My fav song sets.

So girls dancing around to "Girls girls girls" and tool are fucking making me sick. No bitch you're not hard core cuz you dance to the Deftones. Along with neon bikinis I think a lot of the music needs to go. Not I want to do dirty things to Trent Reznor as much as the next grown up goth girl, however if I have to hear "Closer" one more fucking time I'm gonna choke someone with their own triangle top. Or the fucking Pussy Cat Dolls....no bitch I don't!


Set #1
The Knux- Cappuccino
The Knux- Hard days night

Set #2
Metric- Dead disco
Metric- Poster of a girl

Set#3
Shinny Toy Guns- You are the one
Shinny Toy Guns- Photograph

Set#4
Goldfrapp- Strict machine
Goldfrapp- Beautiful

Set# 5
Esthero ft. Andre 3000- Jungle book
Esthero- Bad Boy Clyde

Set#6
The Pierces- Lights on
Fiest- One evening

Set#7
The ting ting tings- Shut up and let me go
The ting ting tings- Great DJ

Set#8
Kate Nash- Pumpkin soup
Ana Serrano van der Laan-Paradise

Set#9
Nouvelle Vague- Dancing With Myself
Billie Holiday- Comes Love

Set# 10
Death from above 1979- Romantic rights
Death from above 1979- Sexy results

That's the ones that have been in heavy rotation for a weeks.

Quote of the Day!

But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Waiter Rant, Waiter Rant weblog

Family fun at a funeral.

So I walked into my house today for the first time in about three days. I know that doesn't seem like a long time but when you have the family that I have I might as well been lost in the jungle for six months. That's what I felt and smelled like. My family always makes fun of me for being a bit of a towny, city folk if you will. Well I just like those crazy city convences like I don't know running non-well hot water and not being looked at and having said to me "Oh, honey you're really not wearing that are you?"

Yes I must be crazy. Well water for those of you that have yet to expirence this lovely adventure an country living, taking a bath in well water with the water heater the size of crock pot is not only freezing it also smells like a dog, so you end up smelling like cold wet puppy. Wooray.

My family's demamics are odd to say the least the frether away on the family tree you are from me the more likely you are to be a rational human being. The closer the more likely you are to have a drug problem, lair, bitch, Dead beet, ect. you get the point. There was a couple of kids of my own generation that didn't even hug me or say hi. I few even shuffled their children away trying to choke back a "Don't look her directly in the eyes!" There was the saving grace of two twice removed cousins that are awesome and an open bar. I was very proud of my self cuz I didn't do the normal get drunk really quick thing that I normally do when I feel uncomfortable, instead it was a steady flow of liquor just enough to keep me good and numb.

So later on in the day it's time to pass around the mic. Only one of his children got up to speak, another one of his friends rambled on bless him about a story that was very near and dear to him about my grandfather, a bit too long, again bless him. Then my brother got up there and I couldn't get over the fact that all he said was "I love my grandfather, he was my John Wayne." And just as I'm getting up to speak, I have the perfect thing to say, a quote to use, a story a very short story, and then My uncle gets up almost racing me to the mic and gives the final farwell. I felt as if any minute they were going to get hook and pull me off the non existent stage. I just sat back down. It was most likely for the best I hate showing emotion in public but isn't the point of these gatherings to share your sorrow together and morn?

On top of all these shinaigins much to my own mortification my mother is running around telling everyone that I might be moving home...... Okay the biggest slight to ones pride is to have to move home. I have many a couch to sleep on before that's even in the picture. And this mad woman whom give birth to me is saying this like it's the best thing ever. I love the fact that she wants me around however we can't be in the same car with out it turning into a catty battle royal. She'll mention that my hair is yet another color and I'll mention that she needs to eat some where other than a chain restaurant, and then down hill from there until she makes me want to walk home.

Oh well I'm just glad to be back where I have a large water heater and a coffee shop. Oh yes and the internets.

Goodbye neon.

I have made an executive decision that neon bikini's are out. I need something a bit more to feel seductive and since I'm obsessed with Ployvore.com I figured I'd show rather than tell.
Strippers in to step it up a bit. out with just the two piece bikinis neon prints and spray tans. We need to be girly and feminine again, when did sport spice take over stripper gear? I say nay! I want to see Barbrella hair with lace and ruffles! Feux fur and glitter!

I'm bringing back glam not single handedly I think Dita Von Teese has got that covered what with single handedly bringing back burlesque. But I'm saying in my own person life.



Lets go to Bed by Lilly Holiday

I just want to wear things that make me forget that my life sucks sometimes and make my life even better when it's good.

Very very good by the looks of things

This is what I'm going to post in the dressing room at work.

Dear Class-less Cunt that stole my money,
We work in a place where we have the ability to make a shit ton of money, if you smile sweet enough to the right person and a lot of us are quite gifted in this. I am sad to report that I'm not really one of them. I suck at being a stripper, I'm no good at it I tell you, so I shouldn't need to tell to you that I don't make a lot of money. So the 150 bucks you stole from me. That was a big fucking deal. Why? Did you need money that bad? Single mother I hope? Well I don't give a fuck and I hope you and your baby have to sleep on rocks you dirty fucking thriving cunt.
I'm not expecting tearful remose I'm smart enough to know that I'm not getting to for you, like every other villian you wake up in the morning thinking of your self as right and just. Well you're not you're a peice of lying trash. You'll most likily smile to my face knowing full and well that it's my money now sittting in your gas tank and icebox, flithy cum cunt. I'll make more money, this is a menor set back, yes, not that big of a deal. But it's something that DIDN'T NEED TO HAPPEN AT ALL!!!! I've always had this way of looking at other dancers as a sister hood of down trotten girls that are using what ever wiles they posesse to make money to better what ever biazzar situation they seem to find themselves in. Why soil that? Look at the girl next to you. That is another human with a story just like yours, how dare you put your self above her or me. Why? How that fuck do people like you live? How do you look at yourself and think "I'm rad. I'm a good person that does good things. I totally deserve to be alive on this planet."?
Were you doing it out of spite? Knocking off of my high horse that I don't fucking have. I'm small potatos. I'm fucking gold fish in a koi pond. Was this to teach me that dancers are the evil things that we are in movies, tv, books and men's minds? Nay! You will not ruin my Ya-Ya feeling towards every other girl in this place.
I just wanted to get this out, I'm not making any threats, I'm going to waste my time trying to find you. Nay your punishment is simply being you and realizing that you're from underneith a diry scuzy compost pile and never being half the human being that me and most of these other girls are. I need you to know that your trash and I hope you know what a destructive person you are and I have a hope that you work on bettering yourself, doubtful how ever this coming from the girl that thinks at everyones core there is boundless amounts of good and the want to do right, that and I want to live in disenyland so as you can see I must be disconnected in someway.
I haven't been using the word cunt quite enough in your direction, cunt. Nay Thunder-Cunt. This letter is a bit like Dracula throwing a stick of dinomite in a kids tree fort. It's fucking Dracula, wasting his time throwing dinomite. He could being doing other shit I mean....it's fucking Dracula! But Dracula's so pissed he's throwing some fucking dinomite around. Ahhhhhh.....cunt. That's how pissed you've made me. I want to throw dinomite around....Dear Goddess I want you and your loved ones to be attacked by evil geese and all manner birds, you cunt trash pie. I want a squirel with all kinds of desies to go striaght for the fucking thoat. That'd be good. No I have it! I want you to have the best night of your dancing career how ever much that maybe then I want some to jack you for it. So all the things that you thought buy and bills you thought you'd pay, nope. Ha! Sounds zero fun uh? Yeah cuz it is zero fucking fun.
Love Lilly.

So much for fall fashion....

So it's the middle of nov. and it's still hotter than two midgets having sex in a sock. I'm pretty pissed about it. I love fall fashions love them! And this seasons is so adorable! the tights the vinage stuff that just waiting for a chilly day. Scarfs! oh the scarfs! And soup damn it I wanna have some soup without sweating over it.
Baking I fucking want to bake some damn pumpkin bread is that really too much to ask? I'm trying not to be pissed about the weather, I mean I got to lay out today and work on my tan. So I just have to trick myself in to thinking it's still summer time.

But romantic fall is a callin'! It's the time to wear all the cute layers of stuff. Like this

romantic fall by Lilly Holiday

OH Lover.

what is it like to cast someone out of your life? To see someone as an entirely disposeable object. Audie Humpburn once said "People more than things need to rebuilt, restored and reclaimed. Never throw out anyone." but is that true of toxic people and like all villians do they wake up thinking that they are in the right? I've been feeling lately like such a dispossable person. Noone needs me in there life. I have a lot of great friends that want me there. But friends sometimes can not heal the string of a romance turned sour and ugly.

Lover brought up my family as a red flag, something he said that I could never understand because I've never been hated for the simple color of my skin. Something that I've gotten almost arrested for assult because someone called my friend a nigger. Something that I couldn't understand because I have a white family, oh wait I've lived with and consider my best friends family more family than my own. But my prick fathers whom is in prison and isn't even apart of my life that's the red flag, that's part of what makes me dispossable.

Also the fact that I'm a dancer, something he knew not just when he met but before he met me. Something that not just one of his ex's is or was but practically ALL of his ex's are. What is it that makes me so easily discarded? What is it that makes it so easy for people to kick me when I'm down? So easy to let go.

I'm unquine, and most people that are leave a void where ever they've left. I have no idea if that is true of myself or not. I wonder if it's just the nature of men in general to pretent that they're no cracks and peaces missing from thier lives or from themselves. I'd like to think that but I've seen no evadence to the contairy. I'd love to think that I've left some kind of mark on them, I'd settle for a skarch where they've left a big bleeding wound in my fucking chest.

I have to remind myself that, this is what happened when you open yourself up, the sweets seem to come in with the sours and the latter seems to be in abundance.


the song that I'm listening to.
(Jeff Buckley: Last goodbye)

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die.
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go:
You gave me more to live for,
More than you'll ever know.

Well, this is our last embrace,
Must I dream and always see your face?
Why can't we overcome this wall?
Baby, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all.

Kiss me, please kiss me,
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation.
Oh, you know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye.

Did you say, "No, this can't happen to me"?
And did you rush to the phone to call?
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying,
"Maybe, you didn't know him at all,
you didn't know him at all,
oh, you didn't know"?

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime,
Burning clues into this heart of mine.
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes, and the memories
Offer signs that it's over, it's over.

Halloween

So I spent halloween up in LA in the west hollywood area and I must say the best part about that was all the drag queens dressed up as Sarah Paline. My Hat is tipped to them as it is to my friend Haily for dressing up like a ODed Hooters girl, and when anyone asked her what she was she'd reply "The saddest thing in the world." LOL! ahhhh that's why we're friends.

Painting's I've been working on

this one's called under glass.
This one is called Ritual. If that's not the goddess speaking through art I have no idea what is.

This one's called "We all wear them..."
This Little Lovely is called "Melancholy Melody"
"Plugged In"
"Chesire Kitty"
And my all time favorite "Catwoman"

Being a broke stripper, take two!

Jezzz!! So everyone remembers my rant on not dancing any more. Well shock me, shock me I had to go back to it and it's sad but I seemed to have forgotten that I have these things called bills. So now It's the dancers worse case senorio, rent week/ holiday week... that means a million and two girls and little to no girls. And the funny thing is .....okay actaully not even a little funny really I waited like a year to pay my power bill so it's like 300 dollars that I don't have. fuck. sooooo fucked.

I know I go on and on and on about growing up and being an adult but when things like this happen, or rather I let happen. The question of weather or not I'm ever growing up is really coming in to question.

It sucks because I really didn't want to work halloween! I was going to be the bride of frankinstine!! damn it! not I'm going to be stuck in a strip club wearing fucking cat ears. That's not really even a costume! I wear cat ears all the time!

sucks.

suck.

sucks.

Broken hearted boys, you have to go.

If like actracts like then for me to say that I may just appear broken to the out side world. I feel like people are constantly waiting for me to show my "flaws" or my craziness. Okay people news flash! I have pink eye brows to match my hair, I run around in clears heels intoxicated of money and my greatest joy is watching cartoons.

Is that some how not crazy enough for you?

I'd really like it to be because there is no rabbit in my hat, I AM THE FREAKING BUNNY!

I have a hard time letting things go and when I like someone that's it there's no games, there's no question. I just want them and I find myself in the curious situation of someone, you guessed it Lover. Wanting me as well but him not liking himself enough to have me.

What kind of crap is that, uh Goddess?

So in an act of desperate self preservation because him holding back was killing me making me constantly doubt weather or not I could do or be again thing to make it okay. I had to cut him loose. It was like cutting apart of my own psyche away. I cried all this morning just thinking to myself for awhile I did indeed weather we'd like to say it or not, belonged to someone.

But you can't love a wild thing. In the end I would have done something stupid and crazy just to get his attention, making a fool and villian out of myself.

The worse part was when he left with all of his things, he sent me a text that for what is it worth our time together ment alot to him. It's so much easier to hate someone and say "well that guy's a piece of shit I'm better off!" than, that man is a worth while human being and when he's strongh enough to see what kind of power Lover has in this world it's going to be something really extraoridary. But I can't be there for it and no one can.

Another heart breaking thing he told me that he didn't want to be carried be anyone, I have to tip my hat to that, most men aren't men and having pride is a good step in to being one.

So to all the broken hearted boys out there I'm just going to make you realize that you need to standing on your own. And my god when you do I want to be there to see it.

Okay why I got fired...

I'm actually kinda pissed cuz I really do wish that I did something that was like "oh my god! I can't believe she did that," kinda thing but no it was something stupid. Me and a new manger in training didn't get along and I got fired over it.

lame beyond belief really I know. But oh well.

The end.

Sooooo....About that whole clear heels thing.....

I'm not gonna lie, it's been fun, hell more than fun, I've learned so much about my self and others than I would have doing something else. But the univeris has spoken. Strippering isn't what I'm suppose to doing right now I've learned what I needed from this and it's time to move on.

Don't get me wrong in my typical last to leave the party two hours too late I went kicking and screaming. "No! NOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!" It's not something that I'm proud of, taking the easy way out. But that's what I did for the past five years or so. Not relying on my talents or my creativity. It's really no wonder I've failed so brilliently.

That's me Burning out rather than fading away. Even as my manager was sitting me down and talking with me he was asking if I wanted him to call other clubs to get me a job there. Let's just say it was the oddest me-getting-fired talk ever. Who offers you another job when they're firing you?

I was getting pretty bad there for a minute. I'm not the type who hides how I'm feeling and you don't have to be a mind reader to see how I'm feeling. I swear when I'm in a bad mood I can make plants die as I walk by them. And I was just so over it and I was already looking for a new job working in a salon.

That's right, time to grow up and go to work every day. And do some hair.

Really?? Monday??? I mean freaking MONDAY??!!!

So my lover, and I use the word lover because the semantics of our thing. It's sooooo undefined so the word "boyfriend" is a big he ever no-no topic. And strange thing is it's not off topic via him, it's via me. I was at first coming out of my skin to have the are-we-an-us-yet? convo, as it turns out I turn anything the seems like it would be a relationship convo into talk of batman, obama, or my fav, comic book vs movie.

So Lover is leaving tonight for a wedding where he and his friend Batty (I have no clue if that's her real name, doubt it) designed the wedding dress. So in true gothic fashion ie: not having very many friends of their own, they fly both Batty and Lover to said wedding. the problem with that is that I've gotten use to seeing and knowing him.....in the biblical sense that is. It's wednesday now and I'm not going to see him until you guessed it, monday.

Fucking monday? Damn it. really? Okay and another other thing that's driving me up the wall, his going to a wedding....I know not WITH another girl. But really with Batty. and call me old fashion but I'm just gonna say it, you take the person you are fucking or going to be fucking to a wedding....or in Lover's case co-designer of the Brides dress whom has a boyfriend.....and I'm just being a crazy girl really.

Making a movie!

So I'm in a film class and I get to make three 5 min films. One black and white silent, one color with music and one color with full sound. The people in my group are rad but I'm really hoping that they don't let me do what I tend to do which is unintentional run over people and there ideas. I really am trying not do that. It's just that I have a type "A" personality. I am the leader of Alfa wolf bitch squadern! I love and hate that about me.

Another thing is the teacher doesn't share my opinion on the slice of life film. He's more a everyone either dies or gets married there's no inbetween. So I really have to work on the disney ending thing. But otherwise I am sooooo exicited about my classes really . to make movies.....I mean to make movies it's just going to bring a level to what art I can bring to people...

I can't wait to start.

Pencils, books and fellow strip club employees dirty looks

A great man once say: "Haters are every damn where! EVER DAMN WHERE! You feel me? Some of the people that are closest to you are haters and every damn time you be doing something with your life they've got some shit to say. Fuck haters! You feel me?" Mr. Kat Williams I tip my hat to you. For there are no truer word of wisdom when you work in a titty bar and it always does come with from the most unexpected places.

Lets start at the beginning shall we? I'm going back to school and granded I'm a little late in the game at 26 with not so much of a point of Gen Ed under my belt I've really got to get cracking with this. So my GM of the bar that I work at who is normally very nice to me desides for what ever reason to start up a converstion with me that went something like this:

"Hey Lilly, so what's with you why don't you work more." Which is kinda their job to keep us in there seeings how it's illegal for them to tells us when to work. Please other strippers keep that in your back pocket for later uses.

"Well I just come in to pay the bills there's nothing else that's worth coming in here for."

"Oh so you have like a sugar daddy or second job or something?" I really liked how he asked if I had a sugar daddy before a second job, that's my favorite!

"Uh no...."

And I also like being interuped that's always nice aswell. "So you're just happy with that just floating, uh?"

"Floating? What the hell am I homeless?" I really didn't know where the hell he was going with this.

"You know not really doing anything with your life"

"I'm going to school." I narrowed my eyes thinking he'd back off.

"Well how many classes are you taking?"

I feel as if there should be a lamp in my face and people yelling at me in a foreign launguages "Two, I'm starting off slow."

"Do you think that's enough?" the creepy thing about my GM is that I'm pretty sure he has no soul there not even a hint of emotion in the mans eyes, I'm very rearly unnerved by things like that cuz I work with a lot of people that are dead on the inside but I've never even seen this amount of lifelessness in some eyes that's still breathing.

"Uhmm yeah I'm fine with it and hey who's your basis of compersion? It's not like we're suround by go getters in here." I was please with myself until he started in on me not having a car and all the crazy would if's situations such as: lost a leg, death in the family, attacked by angry bees, sold in to sexaul slavary ect...

It went on for quite some time, and I'm not gonna lie I was pretty pissed about the whole thing, until I realized... he was a bouncer last year, and is 15 years older than me if not older and works in the same place as me works 40 hours weeks and I make almost the same amount of money that he does. WHAT A FUCKING HATER!!!!

But Wednesday is the day for pencils and books and I could give a fuck about haters looks.

OXOX
Lilly

New fun out fit!

okay so I was playing on this new site it's called Polyvore.com and you can put togther your own out sheets! uhmmm it's like the funnest thing in the whole world!

You put your right foot in.....

So there's really a part of a relationship that I think everyone hates, well at lest I do and I'm known for projecting so bear with me. It's the part of the relationship that I like to call the Relationship Hookey-Pookey. That part of the relationship were it's all new and you really don't have any clue as to how to introduce the other person.

"Oh hi Bob! It's good to see you, this is my.....uhg.....my....My good friend Bingo! Yeah that's it good friend."

When you both know damn well that you don't do the no pants dance with "good friends". Well, at least I don't. It's retarted! And it's not really like it's high school it really shouldn't matter. But for something that really shouldn't matter do to the fact that I'm a "grown-up" my feelings and the feelings of others have been trappled on more than once of the splitting of hairs that people seem to do.

When does hanging out become seeing someone? And when does seeing someone become dating? And when the hell did all this labling become so important to some people?

It's like this some people think it's okay to be seeing more than one person at once, fine. Dating is seeing if it's not your boyfriend?

It's all so confusing!!! and then another wrench in the works you have those crazy people that seem to be just fine with open relationships. How does that even come up? I'd really like to know how to spot one of those in a crowd and avoid them like the black death.

But when does someone become yours? I know that's an aweful way to put it, but hey I'm willing to be someones. It doesn't make it any less childish, it just makes it what I want. Oh, and I thought there would be a parade when I figured out what I wanted. Oh, well.

Alaska.....It's a thought.

So I was watching that show "Tougher in Alaska". I it's funny the only thing that keept on running through my little brain is that there is something crazy up there like a 10 to 1 ratio. Ten dudes to every one chick. And I heard from very early in my stripping "career" that the money was so good out there that they'd fly girls up for a mouth or to and the girls would come back with crazy figures such as 10,000- 20,000. This was from a some one whom was a costume maker and had been in and around the business for years and years. And she wasn't known to be stupid or fall in to idol gossip. And if I remember correctly SHE actually flew up there to sell costumes to the girls. (She had the market cornered on that I'm sure)

So I guess what I'm asking is should I take a stripper vaca to Alaska?

Things I'm sooooooo in love with right now.

This freaking beautiful dress! I mean if I could just wear stuff like this everyday I really would the problem is finding said dress! But the color is enough to make my heart melt and red-orange is enough to just make me want to come out of my own skin!





Molotov Cocktease! She is my hero! If you haven't ever seen the show the Venture Bros. You haven't lived I tell you! But the long and short of it is Molotov Cocktease aside from having the coolest name EVER! Is a Rassian mercenary that is the love of Brock Samson's life, oh yeah and she killed Brocks partner, he killed her father and cut out her eye which he keeps in a jar by his bed. But she broke his heart.....such is love.


Pink Emo Hair.....I know I'm suppose to be so over this....but hey I'm the one who told them it wasn't a faze!




Luna Lovegood I've been getting into the Harry Potter thing lately and I've got to say...she's my favorite and I think I'm going to go all nerded out and dress up opening day....Yeah I'm going there scraf and shirt and all. What cha know about Ravenclaw!? What What?!



CupCakes.......I have no clue but I freaking love cupcakes.... and on that note.

Ahhh the Good Old Days

Nickel and dimed, or Where do we find these people?

So This didn't happen to me but I've had change thrown on my stage but nothing like this, one of my old managers told me this story, he use to work down at Hustlers in san Diego when it was still Pacer's. So a couple years back this guy comes in the club, there was something weird about him but the there's something weird about most the guys that come in.

So this guy sits down front row at the stage and the girl on stage is just minding her own business when it hits her, yes literal hits her....and sticks! Now every stripper has had her share of mordifying stage/coin molments. But to have the fucking thing stick on your butt.

How did he do it you ask? I was horrifed when I found out.

Step one: be a creepy fuck.


Step two: get a quarter.


Step three: get (I'm cringing as a type this?) vaseline


I know what your thinking, and yes that sick fuck really did!

Step four: drip the quarter in said vaseline and pelt an unspecting stripper in the ass with it.....

I pray every day that won't happen to another girl, not even one I hate. amen.

Going home with nothing but 60 bucks and shame.

Now the there's a certin kind of shame that happens when you leave with 60 bucks, that only another dancer gets.

First I would like to say that it's not the "Crying Game" Shower kinda shame. It's the "Really I'm doing THIS with my life?" Kinda shame, it's the same kinda shame that I had after opening up my first "big girl" pay check for one of my first hair dressing gigs.

I say big girl cuz your suppose to go to school then get a job in the field of study. I did that! I played by the rules and when I opened up my pay check for a 40 hour work week it was something crazy like 460 dallors....Which if I went back to stripping that's easly made in a night (an alright night anyways).

But there's just this feeling of I've been jibbed by life when you work hard and still come up short. When there's noone in the club to make money off of it's just not your night. But what most people don't understand other nights make up for them more offent then not.

But still when it's not your night, and some nights are just really not your night. You go home feeling like shit. Lesser girls might fall into the mind trap of it's cuz I'm not pretty enough, bull. Then how did the fat girl make 400 bucks. You wasted your time with losers and now you have to tip out with 60 bucks.... now that's a real walk of shame. Handing the Dj and bouncer like 6 bucks each. Most will refuse. They understand. But oh! the feeling of pity, when your money is no good. That's the real shame.

When it's 5 buck on pump #6 instead of full 'er up. When it's ordoring off the vaule menu. That's the real shame, uhgggrr, the shame of being a broke stripper.

The odd injuries that dancers acquired Vol. 1!

There are many odd things that happen while stripping. MANY MANY....MANY odd things one of them is all the odd injuries that we dancers seem to collect. From having Pole Burn to a collection of bruses and bumps to have the joints of an 80 year old woman.

Let's start with Pole Burn, it's kinda like smaller version of road rash mostlikly on the inner thigh or arm, you know that really tender areas. they stay there for a week or to.


This is a trick that you do to acquire a real nice set of pole burn.



There's the pole burn, I've seen wayyyyy worse, shit I've had worse.

Knees there's a whole lot of shit that can and will go wrong with your knees. They will brused. You'll get water in it and that has to be drained....and let me tell you about the sexy accessorie that you get with water on the knee.



And I'm just getting started!